Meaningful Relationship And Relational Responsibility
Meaningful relationship is best described as divine love.
“Whoever does not take his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.”
Those words have often haunted me over the last forty-five years of professed faith and obedience to Christ. In the extended passage which follows immediately after Christ’s initial calling and invitation to the Twelve as recorded in Mark 3, Christ first clearly identifies Himself as being in relationship with the Father and Holy Spirit and finally concludes with a statement which seems to be about the priority of divine over human relationship. While such a conclusion should surprise anyone when we consider the command to “love God with all of your heart, soul, strength and mind,” a tension between divine and human relational responsibilities continues to be felt, nonetheless.
Such a feeling is only made stronger by what Matthew 10:34-39 reveals of Christ’s teaching with regard to this matter of divine and human relational priorities:
34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
While one might want to push aside these words attributed to Christ as hyperbole, as His critical response to the hypocrisy of the Pharisees, Sadducees or even the Herodian religious and political parties, Matthew makes it clear that these words were part of Christ’s words of instruction to the Twelve as they were commissioned.[1] And in light of how Christ’s mission appears to have culminated on a cross a year or two later, these words of Christ, “…whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me,”[2] continues to grab the attention of anyone and all who sincerely profess to follow Christ and who would like to honestly invite others to imitate their words, works and relationships as they, too, follow Christ.[3]
While the average attention span of Western Christian Evangelical churchgoers hardly tolerates an extended treatment of more than one or three points from an abbreviated portion of biblical text, I recall reading an article wherein the Pope admonished priests to keep their homilies to under eight minutes in a day and age when the average movie scene length is only five seconds.[4] While this, of course, makes me question why I would attempt to weekly write and post “long-form” essays, as I have said before, these attempts or essays are at least as much for my learning, mental and spiritual health as anything else.
I bring this up is because even in those churches where spiritual truth is intentionally communicated, one rarely hears a sermon on a complete chapter from the Bible. And even then, because of the attention spans of the audience or mental and physical limitations of the speakers, any exegetical commentary is limited to but a handful of points at most. Apart from those who daily set aside personal time and space to read, pray, meditate and record one’s daily experience with God’s Word and Spirit, this contemporary (or post-modern, if you will) reality not only limits one’s exposure to grace and truth, but also detracts from one’s understanding and application of that truth because of how the extraction of content from context not only limits the understanding of the listener, but the ability of the listener to recognize and apply such grace and truth in the context of their own daily lives at home, work or play.
Christ’s Day One Priority Of Relationship
I’m only going to focus on twenty-three of the 35 verses which comprise the third chapter of Mark’s gospel here, trying to be careful to focus on the events and conversations that took place at a single place and time. That place and time was where and when Jesus and the Twelve began intentional and meaningful relationship. Mark 3:14 clearly states that Christ called the Twelve firstly “to be with Him.” Yes, the text in its entirety does state that “And he (Christ) appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach and have authority to cast out demons” (Mark 3:14-15, ESV), but it seems important for us to recognize that Mark records herein a single day’s events and conversations. The text doesn’t tell us what kind of house it was, who was the owner, host or hostess, not even what the meal consisted of, only that such a large crowd again gathered, for at least the sixth[5] time since Christ began His public ministry, “so that they could not even eat”[6] their meal.
While I want to be careful not to “miss the forest for the trees” here, I also want to make sure we recognize the emphasis of the Spirit of God[7] as reflected in the writing of Mark here: the meal was a key part of Christ’s effort to intentionally and meaningfully relate with the Twelve. Everyone needs to eat and drink, most everyone begins by sharing a table with parents and siblings, and so it should be such a stretch to recognize the kind of normal relationship Christ was attempting to initiate with the Twelve here. It was not a gala, some fancy wine and dine event, but in all likelihood it was but a simple meal where the conversation and resulting knowledge and relationship was more important than what was being served and consumed.
This understanding becomes all the more important when we recall that Christ spoke of Himself as being “the bread of heaven,”[8] and of how “whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks of my blood has eternal life.”[9] As shocking as these two statements may be to those who have never shared a table with Christ, I would argue that the Twelve probably heard these words from Christ’s mouth very differently than those who had not shared a table with Christ. Just as discipleship for Christ began with the offer of relationship, faith in and knowledge of Christ apart from meaningful relationship seems like a contradiction in terms.
Monotheism, Dualism And The Holy Spirit
20 Then he went home, and the crowd gathered again, so that they could not even eat. 21 And when his family heard it, they went out to seize him, for they were saying, “He is out of his mind.” 22 And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem were saying, “He is possessed by Beelzebul,” and “by the prince of demons he casts out the demons.” 23 And he called them to him and said to them in parables, “How can Satan cast out Satan? 24 If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. 25 And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. 26 And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but is coming to an end. 27 But no one can enter a strong man’s house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Then indeed he may plunder his house. 28 Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter, 29 but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin”— 30 for they were saying, “He has an unclean spirit.” (Mark 3:20-30, ESV)
When Christ’s mother and brothers hear about the crowds gathering yet again--despite Mary’s knowledge of her son’s origin and purpose—rather than blaming the crowds for being drawn to Christ’s teaching and miracles, were overheard to express their concern for Christ’s sanity. Now, growing up in a Asian environment where parents don’t praise their own children, I probably read that line a little differently the first time than those of you who were raised with words of encouragement, praise and recognition from your parents, but nonetheless, Jesus’ mother and brothers were at least confused by what was happening after thirty relatively normal years of childhood and as a carpenter’s apprentice. But the concern of Christ’s family should not be equated with the accusations of the Jewish religious experts, whose demonology was very likely influenced by such varied and non-canonical sources as the so-called Second Temple writings and the influence of such as the Zoroastrians[10] whose dualistic view of good and evil contributed to the accusation and bias of the Jewish religious experts against Christ and His small band of followers. The scribes use of the Aramaic “Beelzebul” or “dung god”[11] was also likely used in a derogatory manner against Christ. But while His accusers were confused yet insistent that in Christ evil was fighting evil,[12] Christ responded with an answer that an overly simple monotheism could not accept or understand, using the Aramaic rendering “Satanas” or “accuser,”[13] to show His personal and superior understanding of the spiritual conflict at hand, and likely causing the scribes to recognize Christ’s identification of their words and works as allied with Satan as well.
But where the confusion of monotheism and dualism is both evident in the words and works of Christ’s accusers is all the more amplified is in their lack of response to Christ’s explanation, introduction of the Holy Spirit in such a way that the Holy Spirit is identified with Yahweh by means of the very Mosaic Law[14] which the scribes purported themselves to be experts in both teaching and practice. Additionally, it seems very significant to me that while much is made of Christ’s relationship, His allegiance, loyalty and recognition of the Father, as we see here in Mark 3, Christ begins to develop relationship with the Twelve, with the same allegiance, loyalty and recognition of the Holy Spirit of God. Such knowledge on the part of the Twelve helps to make the conversation at the Last Supper about how the Holy Spirit would come to teach[15] and empower[16] the apostles to speak and act in accord with the power, love and faithfulness of God the Father and Son[17] all the more understandable. From the very beginning, as it would appear from this text, Christ taught of the relationship, the shared nature and purpose of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
“Whoever Does The Will Of God Is My Brother, Sister And Mother.”
31 And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. 32 And a crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.” 33 And he answered them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” 34 And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:31-35, ESV)
I am not sure who was more shocked initially by Christ’s response[18] here to the news that His mother and brothers had arrived: the crowd, the disciples or His mother and brothers. But again, remembering that the context of these words and works of Christ was the first day of His effort to develop a meaningful relationship with the Twelve, there is a very significant lesson being taught, not just to the crowd, His mother and brothers, or even the Twelve, but to anyone who might confess the Name of Jesus Christ, become His disciple, and so worship the Father in spirit and in truth: meaningful relationship cannot be separated from the fulfillment of relational responsibilities. This is not a statement about a “works gospel” wherein we might somehow make ourselves perfect and therefore good enough for the kingdom of God and Heaven. Rather this is a statement about loyalty. To an audience which was very familiar with the command to “love the LORD your God with all of your heart, soul and strength,”[19] this appeal to active loyalty would not have seemed strange. For at that time and place, while Christ was speaking of His own loyalty to God the Father (a posture and status which made Christ equal with God[20]), it seems likely that the Twelve and the crowd, too, would have seen Christ’s words and works are loyal to Yahweh.
But here’s the problem that men and women of God had come up against time and time again: even the command to honor father and mother, to love and care for spouse and children, were to be held subsequent to loving God. Whether Abraham[21] with Isaac, Aaron[22] with his sons Nadab and Abihu, and here Mary[23] with her oldest son Jesus, there seems to always come a time and place where our allegiance and loyalty to God must be placed ahead of a human relationship. This was even true of Christ, who had to put His relationship with God the Father ahead of His relationship with Joseph and Mary.[24] Yet the words of Christ recorded here in Mark 3:33-35 are hard to hear, even for those who love God and know what the Scriptures teach about “the first command with a promise[25]” and how Christ Himself taught that our love for those whom we can see[26] attests to our love for a God who cannot be seen.
The writer of Hebrews brings this matter of relational priority into focus with these words, quoting from Psalm 40:6-8, and associating the following confession of faith and promise of loyalty between not just King David and the LORD, but between the Son of David and God the Father:
5 Consequently, when Christ came into the world, he said, “Sacrifices and offerings you have not desired, but a body have you prepared for me; 6 in burnt offerings and sin offerings you have taken no pleasure. 7 Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come to do your will, O God, as it is written of me in the scroll of the book.’”[27]
Something repeated here in this passage is a strong disassociation between Christ’s physical body and “burnt offerings and sin offerings” here. Despite how often I have heard and read of people preaching and singing about how Christ “was born to die” however, these words of Christ lead me to believe that as much as Christ’s death on the cross appears to have been necessary for the redemption, reconciliation and restoration of mankind to right relationship with God, Christ didn’t just come to die, Christ came to obey.
As ambassadors of the way, truth and life of God, Christ’s obedience should shape our understanding of God’s way, Christ’s obedience should illuminate God’s truth to help guide my relationships, and the life Christ led with not just the Twelve, but the 70, and the many others the Spirit led Him to, can serve as a template for the manner of life God desires us to live through faith and allegiance. Because Christ as the Second Adam[28] fulfilled a relational responsibility to God the Father and God’s children through His victory over sin and death, our own relational responsibility cannot be the same. For while in Christ’s case obedience to the will of the Father led to death on a Roman cross, the cross[29] we are to bear is probably more about bearing relational responsibilities.
Giving Proper Priority To Our Relationships
Please permit me to return to the quote from Matthew that I began this post with as I attempt some closing remarks.
34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. 37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”[30]
I find it interesting that, even while recording Christ saying that we must love God more than father or mother, son or daughter, Matthew does not record Christ speaking of loving God more than husband or wife. While probably a topic for another time, several passages of Scripture come to mind that appear to make the marriage relationship special in terms of how those relationships are intended to resemble and represent Christ’s love for the Church or serve as both examples of and proving grounds for developing trust and obedience to Christ.
While I come away from this brief treatment of Scripture with a renewed sense of how bearing my cross has to do with my personal responsibility to God for my brother, neighbor and enemy, I still face daily decisions about how to obey God when there seems to be conflict or even apparent contradiction between divine and human relational responsibilities. And it is still difficult to obey God’s command to love when our enemies are members of our own households. Nevertheless, I believe that prayerful and meaningful relationship is God’s chosen vehicle to give more life and love, joy and peace through our relationships than what the world expects to receive through unreasonable facsimiles for God’s love such as romantic love, patriotism or even such filial piety which serves as the gold standard for the culture and society in which I was raised.
[1] See Matthew 10:5.
[2] See Matthew 10:38.
[3] See Ephesians 5:1, 1Corinthians 11:1.
[4] https://www.deseret.com/faith/2024/06/13/pope-francis-homily-length-sermons/
[5] This number is simply an accounting from Mark’s gospel and not the result of a synoptic analysis.
[6] From Mark 3:20 (ESV).
[7] See 1Corinthians 2:12, 2Timothy 3:16 & 1Peter 1:20.
[8] See John 6:51.
[9] See John 6:53.
[10] https://www.britannica.com/topic/Zoroastrianism
[11] See Strong’s g0954. Βεελζεβούλ Beelzeboul; of Aramaic origin (by parody on h1176); dung-god; Beelzebul, a name of Satan: — Beelzebub,.
[12] See Mark 3:22.
[13] See Strong’s g4567. Σατανᾶς Satanas; of Aramaic origin corresponding to 4566 (with the definite affix); the accuser, i.e. the devil: — Satan.
[14] See Exodus 20:1-7 where taking the LORD’s name in vain is taught to be grounds for judgment.
[15] See John 14:15-26.
[16] See Acts 1:8.
[17] See John 14:12.
[18] See Mark 3:33-35.
[19] See Deuteronomy 6:5.
[20] See John 10:25-33.
[21] See Genesis 22:2.
[22] See Leviticus 10:1-3.
[23] See Luke 1:34-38, 46-55; 2:8-21, 22-35.
[24] See Luke 2:41-52.
[25] See Ephesians 6:2.
[26] See Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Ephesians 5:21-6:9 and 1John 4:20 for example.
[27] From Psalm 40:6-8 and Hebrews 10:5-7 (ESV).
[28] See 1Corinthians 15:42-56.
[29] See Matthew 10:38.
[30] From Matthew 10:34-39 (ESV).